desaru
i had my moneys worth recently. pork knuckle, beer, chinese
barbecue and kfc, the fats still show despite the exercise
which puts a contented smile on my face. so i paid sgd$22 for
my boatride partway to desaru and another 45ringit for the
damn value for money lunch i had. lobster which we couldnt
even finish, venison, herbal chicken, fried rice, fried noodle
and dou miao. solid the taste somemore. malyasia boleh lah!!
so it was a 100km ride, though broken down into smaller
parts. and it rained. so i clocked 150km on the bike today.
gonna add in a run soon... ironman, here i come!!!!
passing through life
just came back from wneyen's 21 birthday party which was quite
fun for me because of the polka dot theme. i made some effort
and was pleasantly rewarded with a few complimentary nods here
and there. i spent 6bucks buying luminous round stickers which
i stuck to my black feodora. cool! especially with the contrast.
her chocolate cake was awesome too. and i got an invite for
peizih's 21st too. i'm of course glad to be invited to both
parties, i'm just wondering what impression i made on them
since i'm non-existent whenever they are around. then again,
maybe they just dont want me to feel left out. though it is
pretty weird since i'm a non-team member anymore. oh well.
i think its also time to remind myself of the crazy stuff i've
chalked up before work goes into turbo. i can confidently say
i'm handsome and i have a good body after being officially
hit on in a gay bar. yes, i'm that good looking you know. i
didnt just get a drink, my friends (3 of them, 2 straight) were
treated to drinks on my account as well. so hey, if life really
sucks, i should head to a gay bar since i'll get some free
drinks if i take off my shirt.
i also had a brazilian wax done. which wasnt so bad on the
pain factor, my nuts stayed grounded if you know what i mean.
and thankfully i didnt have a "reaction" it was actually
comfortable as the warm wax is spread on your hair and then
its off. my only gripe would be that, i imagined the 1st
person who would have gone for my package would have been
in the same show as me. however i guess i had to solo.
recently i've also been to geylang quite frequently since i
figured out we could have good, fun, man food which wasnt
hor(whore) fun. barbecued northern chinese satay!!! which
was interesting because we get to cook it ourselves and that
we have a range of flavours for the pre-seasoned meat.
had my ippt today as well. and that's a gold and $400 to my
account did my run in 8.50, 23pullups for the impressive
stats. the rest were just 5s as per normal. not too bad for
a guy that didnt rest at all before his ippt, with the
intense training he had all week. and that i collapsed on
thursday from exhaustion, its really not bad at all.
a worrying thing that has occurred is that i havent got my
credit card yet even though i received the mailer. i'm going
to give them a call if i dont get it by monday. perhaps
the post is late.
oh well. changi + mandai tomorrow. cant be weak! nights!
owe money pay money
so after the trip to australia where i was thoroughly shocked
by the behavior of a certain prinCESS and the amount of spending
i incurred. i realized school is about to start and my ever
loosening grip on money seems to make it want to slip away faster
than i can attract a girlfriend. i just signed up for the
bus.sel.ton ironma.n and that, coupled with the airfare has set
me back a little over a thousand dollars with my school fees
yet to be paid. so i guess i can be glad that i signed up for
ippt at least, since thats an easy 400dollars for me. why pass
up our tight-fisted government's money?
training is going to be intense since i want to set an ambitious
timing of below 12hours. if i can hit 10hours i'll be godlike
already but thats unlikely. i desperately need to work on my
swims but it seems that i dont have any good help on the way.
looks like all thats left is cable pulls for me. the gymwork
will be helpful for the first 12weeks of my 16week training
program. so i can lose the upper body weight and have less to
carry as i tune my body to have more endurance muscles. right.
i've been training with the cool mr b.izad r.io elij.ah chua.
and my runs have never felt better. firstly i know i'm being
pushed instead of when i'm running with the wannabe-big-pussies
who runs so much but cannot improve their runs. i did 12km
2 days before. 10km with an hour of gymwork yesterday and
a 40km cycle with a 8km run this morning. at least i know
how a transition may feel like now. i'm rather worried though
if i should use contact lenses for my swim though.
school is also starting slowly while i get used to the fact
that i dont even have 1 core ps module this sem. well i dont
care since i rather hate my major but my apathy is indeed
disconcerting. i've got 1 sinag.pore s.tudies and 3 general
educ.ation mo.dules along with finance for a grand total of
5 modules this sem. it kindda feels weird since i like 6 or
7 modules, but i guess its ok since i'll be having the
ironman where i guess i need to be self motivated to train
harder. which is tougher since the personal enemy is always
the hardest to beat. so i guess i'm not having a slack sem
either. haha guess i wont feel too bad then.
i wonder how the new program is like for the guys. especially
for those who are left. i hope they start to impress soon.
on the other hand though, i have an option of joining the
c canoe so i'll be nearby to watch the drama as things unfold.
will they get better juniors who are less selfish and grade
conscious? who knows. or they could just get pretty boys
with big muscles like tua gong who never really could row
well and never really invested anything in it anyway. or will
the emotional people just wreck the team. no wonder i dont
watch tv when i have such real life drama.
now if i can only find accommodation for my ironman dammit!
the road is long
i've never really been upset about anything since i passed
my mid teens and labeled the people who displayed their
emotions in public as attention seekers. i never saw myself
as one but more importantly, i believed that the road is
long and that there really wasnt much to be too happy or
too upset about. although i would of course allow myself
to ride a wave of happiness more than plunge through a
similar wave of sadness. i was talking to gordon otherwise
known as "anjing - dog" and i told him that he neednt worry
so much because life is really but a pov. we see that in a
porn movie but pov just stands for point of view. illustrating
with the results that we had over time, the schools we went
to and where we are now, i simply told him that the road is
long. sometimes we're ahead, sometimes we're behind, so what's
the great bother if it seems that we're down for the moment
we'd get out of it in the end.
then there was amber. amber is strange. if i've ever thought
a girl was hitting on me, it would probably be amber. but
since i'm of the uncommitted type, i guess that ship wont fly.
anyway she made one of the remarks that people who could look
in from a distance would make and it didnt go well with me.
not that she knew of course since i laughed and agreed with her.
she said that i made all the right moves since she knew me.
that may have been what it seemed but i'd be the first to tell
you that it was pommy bullshit!
she wouldnt know the number of decisions i have hated myself
for making because all that has happened seemed to have ended
well for me. i agree that i am in an enviable position but i
will also tell you that i wouldnt measure everything quantitatively.
a place in university, the number of friends, a salary. they
are just numbers, many a times i failed to make the emotional
decisions, sweeping them under the carpet, hoping never to
make them at all. i also failed to make the less rational decisions
of total immersion into an interest. it may not have got me as far
but i've always wondered if i would have been happier. i remembered
the time when i gave up the badminton captaincy for track. it
was wrong, but i got so much more out of it. i remembered giving
up my grades for sports. but in the long run, it would have been
the same anyway. success, narrowly defined is but a position.
we are here or we are not, we have or we have not. but success
is not narrowly defined and is thus relational. it is as compared
with someone, it is also with the intentions of others. i would
tell you that many a times i have frustrated the intentions
others have had for me. i've gotten by, but i've been more detached
for it. i would say i've both succeeded and failed taking the
position of a stoic.
i realized that many others have taken that position and failed too.
because we wanted to do what is right. we decided we'd be partial
to impartiality. staring into a new crossroad of what is to come,
i've been forcibly weaned off my lifestyle of the past few years
as i've been asked to leave the dragonboat team since i refuse to
commit to a team schedule because i "know" that quantity of
training is not sufficient to bring about a unity of perspectives
to the goals of training. i'm looking at the ironman, the dance
performances and the different group of friends ahead. i know the
road is long, i'm sorry for what has transpired but through this
failing and the freedom i've re-gained its time for me to make the
best out of the things ahead.
