from green to black

deepavali

so i went to a deepavali celebration with my dad and met his
very professional friends. i like those guys, so i kindda
enjoyed myself there. afterall, when they are mostly from
the old school you dont quite expect them to put on airs.
the neurosurgeon with the professor, the business people and
the doctors. well, they were like boys once again reminiscing
the old days.

so we came to the topic of the old boys network and its
importance and together with my impression of today's
newspaper articles i think i'm even more convinced that i'm
not getting my money's worth in university. and here's why.

you dont have to be a genius to go make money. yeah i know
life is more than that, but this simple measure helps us
with return on investment. knowledge helps, as you go along
the business so i'm not claiming its unimportant, but the
first step in value creation is the plan. so acuity of
vision is really important. this links up with my finance
lectures in that number chugging is easy once we have the
numbers.. its coming up with the numbers and knowing what
it means that is really difficult. i've been behind on my
work, once again which is really okay since i've been
continuously trying to figure out the applications of those
numbers. i just get bad dreams but its the thought exercise
which is useful and amuses me.

the second stage of success is guts and grit. there are a
whole lot of people sitting on a pile of substantial savings.
hdb prices may hit a million, but hey if people want to buy
an equivalent flat i guess that doesnt really mean much since
its just a reflection of inflation in the cash over valuation
anyway. but like the ice-cream parlours that are popping up
and skimming off the supernormal profits, a "good" or "bad"
time for the economy is really hard to determine. so in the
gutless world of nus, there are many people who say aha, i've
saved up capital and all i have to look for is an investment
or startup. and i'll say right like thats going to happen when
you're too scared to try for anything.

going on about the point of guts, the thing is there arent as
many start-ups as there are people with sizable capital because
of the popular refrain that, its a stupid idea or it just wont
work. funny thing is that, people with stupid ideas become
entrepreneurs when we factor in guts but capital rich people
just sit at home telling their friends what a stupid idea dumb
entrepreneur had. yes, there are many who fail but success is
not a rarity too. the rarity is the risk-taking that sets the
2 groups apart. in the same vein, we could say that the critics
have a required rate of return that is too high.

argued otherwise, is it because they believe that their capital
should be working harder? i guess the arguement is difficult
because these rates are normative estimates on what SHOULD be
the minimun return that one has to expect. while it is not wrong
to want your money to work harder, i guess one should be clear
how this requirement is obtained - that is the linkage this
requirement has with the labour and efficiency of the project -
before making judgment. when requirements are too high, risk
aversion sets in.

finally i figured that the fear of failure has stopped many
from trying their best because they shy away from the challenge.
it is good to have a healthy respect for failure to ensure that
one plans to avoid it through preparation but i think it is
cowardly (and a waste) to avoid it altogether. i guess i
achieved the least when i feared the most. yeah, i know well
enough that i'm a man who fails, but i dont make a failure.

i guess i need to start adding value to my stint in school.
if its not the grades then at least i could do something
about the quality of life.

posted by green unseen @ 11:29 PM 0 comments

kyrie eleison

for the uninitiated, like myself a few hours ago,
kyrie eleison means oh lord, have mercy. well i certainly
need a lot of it even though i sure aint catholic!
but, what i really like is this track and i'll throw in
the music video as a bonus. some rock does spice up the week.



i've always wondered if the semi-euphoric feeling i get
from using such liturgical words are due to the power in
the words itself or the association my mind makes with
those words. heck, i've been saying it so many times for
nothing i hope it doesnt count for blasphemy.

well maybe i should check out more billboard no. 1s!

posted by green unseen @ 6:49 AM 0 comments

weddings and responsibility

the parents are on holiday so its me home alone for some time.
i guess its not too bad considering i get the car. its
convenient really. but i kindda hate to drive. the traffic
stresses me out and i cant sleep while i'm commuting. but i
guess, since its a little faster and i dont have to search for
a seat, i guess its a fair trade off. i'd still prefer
teleporting but they havent delivered my machine yet.

my dad decided i'm old enough to proxy for him and he requested
that i attend a wedding on his behalf. cunning bastard. trying
to give me 2 hints at the same time, but i guess i'll just
ignore it. hint number 1 is of course, when will it be your
turn. considering, i'm still available and havent used my
v-card yet, he's probably thinking i'm batting for the boys.
hint number 2 is more subtle, but it irritates me nontheless.
since i was seated in the business table, i was force to make
business small talk. so would you consider joining the business
when you graduate. i dont think so. i am not going to be like
those spineless people who've never hit out unless they have
a parental army behind. i'll take the world by the horns and
conquer. of course its death if i dont, but i can deal with that.

sure as hell reminds me of some people whom i can think of who
will inherit daddy's business. cant say they arent privileged
but i know that its not a path a would walk if offered.

the wedding was an eye opener anyhow. i learnt when and how to
give the hongbao. some chinese traditions with the weddings,
like the tea ceremony or the reasons why the meal starts late.
i guess theres always a first time for everything. it sure scared
the hell out of me. which is really perfect for my plan. i
realized how much it means to the parents if they cannot save
face there. its really the perfect place to cause a scene, or
anticipate one. i figured that i will never go for any of my
family members weddings. that, will be the biggest slap to my
parents that i would not have to physically inflict. not that
i care about what my brothers think anyway because i'm pretty
sure the feeling is mutual. of course, it would help if their
other halves dont know i exist. time will tell...

quite proud of myself for my house keeping efforts though. as
long as my youngest brother was back from camp, i ensured he
had home cooked food. which of course was edible. lasagna on
sat and a baked chicken on sun. shows the parents that even if
they are away we dont have to eat out all the time. and the
dishes and stove top are washed and cleaned. my clothes are
washed and ironed, despite my trainings, tests and projects.
cant say its easy for me to cope, considering my body totally
collapsed on itself already and i skipped some trainings and
i havent done my project yet. but i guess this is how life
will be like if i'm going to live independently. its not as if
girls can or feel that they should do housework anyway. so i
guess i better get used to it.

oh well i guess i should just enjoy this peaceful week alone
then. wish i'd find the discipline to start doing stuff too.

posted by green unseen @ 9:24 AM 1 comments