we only end to start again
well, looks like its time to start the next phase of my life.
never quite ended this one but i guess thats why its called
continuity, because i will never really leave my past far far
behind. it catches me when i least expect it, saves me, shames
me, the whole gamut. however i'm taken in on how much the past
is coloured by the present, how hindsight is harsher yet more
forgiving, probably a benefit of maturity. the training
workshop over the past 3 days was most welcome as i had to dig
out my learning skills again, to re-learn what is not taught.
boy oh boy, i had so many ideas. its so strange, i always
have ideas before it comes out in the mass media. what i was
thinking about came out in the newspapers again today. this
concurs with my belief that i'm cutting edge but is the post
i have now sufficient to change the outcome of a whole system.
i wonder. right now passions are high but is it enough? but
like dumas says wait and hope.
oh and this would be of interest to all you high mighty with
no soiled history or whatever. i met my second 'grandmother'?
for the first time in my whole life yesterday. i am stunned.
there were so many thoughts running through my head. it
reminded me of the time when i was in my teens walking in the
rain and wondering if i was adopted.(you mean you've always
thought my parents looked like me?!) haha. ok but a wave of
feeling rose in my heart because i finally realised how broken
one side of my family really is. that it takes this auntie,
gentler, cultured and so much more would take care of an
old man who is now so weak. my granddad is suffering from
parkinsons. but really, how they made do impressed me. i'm
also proud that both sides were very civil. i know how my
grandmother reacted. i'm just glad that for my side, we are
able to move on.
i felt so nostalgic there. i loved the hdb life, small, simple
close and connected. i loved how 'grandma' explained culture
and all to me from the wooden carvings to the chinese words.
simplicity. exactly what is lacking these days. you'd never
have peace with 2 women around. its true, never seen my mom
get along well with her mom or dad's. but that is besides
the point. hopefully i can drop by once in a while to help
them out. and maybe i can learn more about my family and roots.
todays service was very interesting, i really liked the
hokkien worship segment. then i'm going for watch night.
well i'm happy that life is more settled for me even though
i think i'm getting especially boring. oh well, there is a
season for everything. may i be what God intends me to be.
see! unsupported inferences
After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one
thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists
dug to 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists
have found traces of 2000-year-old optical fibers, and have concluded
that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephones
1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Singapore newspapers reported the following : "After
digging as deep as 500 metres, Singaporean scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that
5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology."
-enn news 221206
other side of the fence
finally i'm on the other side of the fence as a teacher
heh heh. time for more havoc. today we went to alexandra
hospital to pick up some of their best practices. so sad
lah coz yy not around so no energizer battery, but tts so
out of point. then after that was all the it stuff which
i kindda hate and they wanna make things more it based.
help! i mean singaporeans are so funny, because it is
suggested as an !aid! so why make it compulsory and attach
weightage, my impression was that it was to supplement
not so replace existing teaching styles. oh well, my brains
tos muddled to write coherently not. so i will probably edit
some other time.
hardwork
received the mail from the upperstudy today.
i'm screwed! coz my content really sucks and
if i wanna be real lazy about it, i might end up
doing more work! help help help! i need you
artsie people to gimmie advice.
wishes and pictures
i'm really grateful i didnt pass up catharine lim's books
now that i have the time. she writes really well and
i'm thankful of the time machine effect that her stories
have. mrs. lim i'm pretty sure you have a huge fan base
so this number is just gonna wish for christmas for an
hour of your time. most probably to irritate you half
to death about your stories which have added colour and
depth and breadth to my overly futuristic world. i'd
probably embarrass you with wanting to know where you
get your inspiration for your books and or perhaps if
your protagonist usually resembles you in any little way.
i appreciate that some of the views and beliefs held by
some of your characters show a very realistic side that
is not dealt with but only in stories such as yours. i
wouldnt be so presumptious to assume you hold those views
but i really adore how you paint human traits like you do
in your books. oh but in one corner of the internet, just
let me say thank you in helping me know and appreciate
what we are and have, my lot in life and all the colourful
scenes of history that your books contain.
now that was part one.
its kindda late coz i've just finished reading the last of
the 'history' books which i promised myself i'd read. and
it was church before this where i had a good time with
alvan which i am thankfully to meet after all this time.
the play was good and i think mel stole the stage because
like good ole raj said smile and emote and she did. and they
asked what christmas wishes we had. i used 1 already and i
probably have a list of more but problem is, good old santa
probably cant deliver cause you dont gift wrap these things.
an immortal perfect body would be one, especially if you'd
have heard the greatest joke that i sustained the injury
while i was in the shower. scandalous huh? but to keep
certain impressionable minds safe the stoory goes like this.
i was showering without the heater and the rainy weather made
the water damn cold. so my leg muscle constricted so much
when i squatted that it disjointed the bones at my knee.
good joke huh. too much muscle la i said, the weather too
cold lah. but it still amazes me how such a thing could happen.
then i attended a traditional chinese wedding in malaysia on
the 23rd which showed me how weak my stomach was, coz i had a
little bit of roadside food which gave me the runs the next
day. probably because i didnt drink alcohol to kill the bad
stuff. had fun chatting with our group cause every1 was so
racial. wad do i mean? well almost every1 spoke malay,
some more terribly then others. so the joke was usually on
one of the chinese uncles whom we called a mountain chinese,
which was hilarious. really bet my malay would improve in
the given environment. haha. and for memories sake!
JKR = JANGAN KERJA RAJIN (dont work hard)
Jabatan Kerja Raya - malaysian public works.
you'd understand when you start wondering why the roadworks
are still incomplete on the same road after many years;)
then it comes to christmas again. which to me is utterly
depressing this year. no christmas cheer to spread. no cash
you see. i felt totally helpless and useless, 'surviving
on handouts' not exactly, but receiving more than my ego
can take. i mean this is the season for giving man! so
learn from my mistake kiddies, be more materialistic and
chase cash so you can be financially free instead of
spending your time trying to be a better person. doesnt give
as much benefits as being rich, and ah heng cheh couldnt
agree more right mrs lim? the rear windshield is broken
cause my brother reversed into a pole. damn big joke, cause
it really proves my point even if we have a singapore license
so what? our accident rate probably is the same as our
neighbours. at least they have a lack of license to justify
themselves. tho theres no fight if we talk figures since
they are all much bigger but the point stays that if you
still need to pay 'tuition fees' after your license you
might as well skip it and pay tuition right?
oh anyway i got a job at barker, which has been a joke
because i'm a science guy whos responsibility is to teach
the humanities. i'm not complaining about the company though
i hope that we will be able to tolerate the differing opinions.
merry christmas.
i is china man
you do dumb things when you're bored
digged out the march of the volunteers on you tube
haha it'll be so fun to sing if i can pronounce it
the east is red will be cool to show my students
the meaning of propaganda
arrgh i cant believe how much fun it'll be to
joke a little but still teach them stuff.
retards... merry christmas
santa's broke this year
Disgruntled
well i received an email from international yesterday saying that
they do not need relief teachers. their loss. then it was the
party at dees which i just came back from. felt so good cooking,
and i really appreciated the part when hao cooked for me when i
was so busy cooking for the rest. what else can a man ask for,
when he has a friend who just watches his back? i'm a lucky guy.
sorry squid, i thought it was a great party. hopefully the concert
made up for it or its your loss. barbecues get less fun as you
get older coz it feels like you've got a higher expectation to
meet. as you approach independence u must know how to change
the state of food that it doesnt cause trouble when it enters
the stomach right? and people arent gods so we shouldnt produce
burnt offereings too. but i guess i did fine. though i really
need to hang around in the kitchen more often. if it wasnt a
barbecue but a stint to cook chinese soup stocks and the kitchen
preparation i think i'd have been a goner. and it doesnt help
that my kitchen knifes are blunt and my mom doesnt sharpen it.
(and it sucks coz each time i sharpen it seems to be made more
blunt so that makes me a failure as a domestic handyman. argh!
so the part was cool coz i think some of will's friends looked
pretty for their age. you tend to lower your standards when you
realise women look their best from 19-35. so i guess they look
ok for 16. charmaine, stephanie and michelle were much more fun.
and i guess they make better conversationalists since we would
be the ones talking more instead if we struck a conversation with
the younger ones. i was especially enlightened by michelle,
whom i am very grateful to for the advice on relief teaching.
the reality check she gave me just resigns me to the fact that
as much as we pay lip service to the fact that we need change,
nothing is really being done. that explains why i will continue
to be unsuccessful unless i stick to the structure and be a
good cog in the gears instead of being creative and take risks.
well, the sentiment is that the ministry of education has the
relief teaching scheme to allow people like me a chance to
feel how it is like to be a teacher before deciding on that
career path. however, on the ground it is a totally different
story. instead of the wide and available options if one were
to send out a cover letter, resume and ones results to express
interest and bid for the job. they would prefer that one would
go back to their alma mater. furthermore, the way to get the
post instead of being professional like i have been and expressed
my interest and qualifications in writing, the surer way to
get the job is by pure nepotism. hence, it is no wonder that
for all my qualifications, achievements, initiatives and
professionalism the posts are always not available unless i
have a history with that school. this is sad because it reeks
of 'inbreeding' i will never have the chance to sample life
in a different environment as a teacher before i take the
plunge. i will not be able to share different teaching practices
and hone the survival instinct being in a new environment. also
such nepotistic practices means that complacency sets in because
loyal service is rewarded, and performance is secondary to
capability, which would explain falling standards. this worries
me because, i feel the need to place myself in different and
especially tough and unforgiving circumstances because i want
to cultivate the skill of adaptibly and creativity that has
to be experienced by oneself. it is precisely why my thoughts
are very different from the average singaporean. i want to believe
we can be more than a brand name for quality. i believe that
when we challenge our surroundings and are placed in trying
circumstances our inherent ingenuity will express itself. the
pride of the human race is that we are readily adaptable to
adverse circumstances, we become the masters of our destiny and
neccesity truly becomes the mother of invention. we are at the
stage that we keep on going for stability, the conventional
mindset. it is not wrong, however if we were to be on the path
to creativity, capital and interlectual ownership we must be
willing to embrace change which is inherently unstable. and
hence hone our adaptability. we have to take risks another
factor that is unstable. yes, if we were to be leaders in the
field we have to play by the survival of the smartest and fittest
and only when we've established ourselves than we can better look
after those left behind as they helped us to succeed and be
what we are and be more inclusive.
i speak out today as a proponent of change and action. i
speak out today because i feel that we are lagging even though
times look good because we have not moved to the stage of
providing for ourselves but relying on foreign mncs to
guarantee our job market and prospects. the place to start
and to urge creativity starts in our educational instituation.
hence teachers need to lead the way with flexabilty, and
capability instead of nepotism and cronyism. we have to strive
for talent and not reward our relations. i would be in the
vanguard to effect this change, if only someone shares my
ideals and gives me the opportunity. then i can truely say
we will progress to a level of development not seen before
in singapore.
let them speak for themselves!
much to my surprise, fiona said my entry was sketchy!
after all that effort to collate and post the facts,
she thought i was sketchy! my ego was floored! so
here my dear friend, i shall put up so many photos
that it will lag when it loads so will wont be sketchy!
hrrmph!
this is huong
view from the bottom
view from the top, left and right of our balcony
finally a room in huong
CHOLON
this is life in general
breakfast! we were adventurous! no aches yet! see the flies?
reunification palace and inside!
TANK! at first wow! later you'll realise that...
well these are to show that theres more than just
sprawling grounds to qualify it as a palace
you'll understand my point about the tanks now
and the rest tell the story of men and prisons
then comes our clown moment, back to ben thanh
the saigon bus station. smaller then cholon though
mr tran nguyen han...
food and more beer ( and i am all for saigon not 333)
the tunnels! entrance
structure
a trap!
bombs!
tunnel kitchen
re created smoke vent
actual smoke vent
dinner
my tho
you've got 2 catch a barge to can tho, jammed,
but a bridge is coming up. in 2 years time
the cock up hotel.no everything but mozzies. better to pay in dong
why should i study in nus
oh i finally went running today. not the stanchart one
though. ran from kap to adam, then right to empress then
up to holland and acjc then to nus and finally down
clementi sunset way to home. i was so unfit, i think i
spent a good half the time walking. ugh, no wonder my
spare type is slowly steadily going to exam period
levels. anyway as i was slowly walking around nus,
wondering what life would be like as a student again.
wondering if what virn said was really true and that
i should be yearning to go back to school again. but
strangly all i felt was ambivalence. firstly i have
to admit, the very fact that i am not even serious
about the idea is a very unnatural step for a singaporean.
i'll admit that the degree has its advantages but i
am much more swayed by the opinion that it is overrated
and that it really doesnt deliver in certain courses.
but anyway the main point was that i was walking around
the watching mainly the foreigners doing their thing
and i was like hmmm pretty few people, some were in
heavy mugging mode some were probably adding the
finishing touches to their work, while the more
mature and wearied ones probably profs doing extra
time made their way to the carpark to head home.
well its a sunday i know, but reminding me of the
crazy hours in front of books? no way!
so this leads me to wonder, with the singaporean
value system of hard work, being yes-people cogs in
the gears, safe with all our out of bounds markers and
all, how the heck am i supposed to fit in? is there
room for my original thinking? is there tolerance for
the challenging of convention? as asians, we have a
huge pride issue and we hate to have our feathers
ruffled how would my kind amount to anything esp
when projects will be internally marked and graded.
personal bias as well as being unreceptive to having
work done in more efficient(thought of as lazy) ways
would be very detrimental to me.
furthurmore it is somewhat amusing to see the astar
building in nus. i mean, if we've noticed the news
reports why is it that given a choice and the moolah,
why do our best rather study overseas? if even our
best wouldnt go to nus however hip cool and happening
cutting edge and all it is, doesnt it raise your
eyebrows? hell its like phillip morris telling you
smoking doesnt cause cancer since our top execs
hang around it all the time but never got it. yeah
yeah they dont smoke but hey they're around it all
the time.
oh well, but i really dont know coz i'm not in it
anyway. so probably this post just serves to tell
you how ignorant i am. but damn, must i really get
that stupid degree?
