ironman : the race
race day started on a chilly morning on december 5th at 4am.as usual i was the first to wake having conditioned my body's
clock to get me up by that time. dawn had already broken, it
wasnt dark but a light blueish hue of a new day seen through
the curtain of my window. i didn't feel nervous, anxious,
jittery or a sense of trepidation. i just didnt think about
the demands of the race and focused on getting lathered with
sunblock and vaseline(wish i put even more),and getting dressed.
it was a good feeling that morning. i had slept well and i
had no difficulty sleeping the previous night which was unusual,
probably the result of God's grace because of elijah's fervent
prayer and my total avoidance of thinking about the race.
after brushing up and breakfast, which was wholemeal bread,
cereal and some milo to stave off the cold, everyone was
getting into gear. the air in the room wasnt tense but felt
of the determined matter of factly types where we just had to
do what we just had to do. on went the compression gear,
felt like war. crossing and uncrossing my fingers, i hoped
that i wouldnt get stomach aches or diarrhoea and the contacts
which i put on at the last minute wouldnt dry up in my eyes
halfway in the race or get too affected by the salt water if
it leaked through my goggles. there wasnt much time to worry
i guess, i just put them on and we had to go. it would be
a cold nervous walk to the starting tent. we were running
slightly "late" but i guess we didnt let that go to our heads.
30 minutes early wasnt great for reaction time if anything
went wrong.
yeah, things went wrong for me alright when i got there. should
have worn my compression tights already. should have gone to the
toilet (the bloody queue in front of the portaloo cost me man).
should have tried on my wetsuit. can you imagine a full bladder
in a tight wetsuit with nerves? stripped and wore my compression
in a tent for the disabled. with a bloody 5 minutes to spare from
6am where the officials started to clear us out, i made my way
to the swim start in bloody discomfort.
i guess i thought i'd take the risk right there and then. i swore
that there was no way i was going to swim with a full bladder.
the risk of cramps were too great and i wouldnt know if it was
even possible to pee inside the high pressure of my wetsuit. i
cursed and ran for the park toilets, i figured i'd rather take
a chance of getting a stranger to help me put on my wetsuit again
rather than swim in frigid waters with great discomfort and wreck
the rest of my day. so i took a very relieving piss and then
panicked about putting on the wetsuit sleeves without a plastic
bag to slide my hands through. thankfully they came on. i felt
good and nicely warm in the suit, and then i felt thirsty. damn!
leached off some water from a nice random australian stranger,
(ok, everyone i met there was nice, every friggin australian!)
although i didnt take enough to feel great. met alex, a real
cool teacher at hwa chong and that calmed my nerves for a bit
as we wished each other luck. watched the pros come back from
their warm up swim raring to go. they zoomed off, and it was
time for the age groupers to warm up in the sea.
(lol, cool down you mean) we had 15mins before our start time
at 615am. i would have been shitting in my pants if not for
everyone else being so upbeat. i had hypothermia on the swim
training 2 days ago, i knew i wasnt good with the cold, i really
didnt want to knock out again. this was my first mass swim start
and i had no idea what to expect. it was time to cross the
timing line to head to the water.
there were some who were still heading back. i gazed at the
longest wooden jetty in the southern hemisphere, where it bent
into the distance. i couldnt see the end of it, it was still
undergoing restoration. i gulped. it was the longest distance
i was going to swim, i've never clocked it before especially
in the dehydrating salt of the sea as compared to the almost
drinkable water of the pool. fear? i had plenty, but i would
face them all. i took a few tentative steps into the water,
it was a bearable cold, bordering on warm. i chickened out
of a warmup swim, preferring to conserve what little spirit
i had left before being totally dismayed by the seemingly
endless distance. it was time to wait for the countdown.
1 minute to go went the announcement. i put on my goggles
praying that they wouldnt leak or fog. it was a do or die.
i tightened them perceptibly, feeling the suction on my
eye sockets. my swim cap partially covered my ears, i hoped
i wouldnt be too disorientated with the entry of water.
the horn went off. i waited for a second as if gathering all
my spirit and then ran into the frigid truculent waters.
the cold water greeting my face left it tightened with a
numbed prickly sensation somewhat like pins and needles
as my capillaries constricted to conserve heat. i discovered
myself in a frothy mass of bodies, in clear water heading
towards an end to god knows where. i let myself relax and
found that i was comfortably moving along. the sun was
yet gentle and i was able to take my position from the
concrete beams to my right. sighting along, i made for a
straight path toward the bend.
i was doing well, drafting behind others, not getting kicked
maybe getting drowned a little but doing fine. then i felt
the abrasions at my neck 70% into the first half of the swim.
looks like i didnt put enough vaseline. damn. i also missed
out on the sightings of turtle and stingray. but i guess
i couldnt care less since i was feeling good, and i crossed
the bend of the jetty and the shit hit the fan.
i didnt know of course. i was there but my mind was probably
somewhere far off. i wasnt thinking about the swim at all,
but how to distract myself enough to complete it. i tried
counting the beams, i shouted good day to a few marshals,
i swam in the wrong direction into the jetty. things werent
great. should have stuck to drafting instead of trying to
get into a clear space. i was so excited to see the last 400m
and the ending chute despite my goggles fogging up that i swear
my last few meters was the fastest i swam in the whole race.
my legs hit the beach. i staggered and ran ashore.
I"M FRESH, i yelled. the announcer noted that i swam faster
and faster as i ended the race. he said i was gonna have a
good day. at that point, the only thing in my mind was
you bet!
felt fantastic as i ran, gasping as i rinsed my mouth and face
in the showers. removed my wet suit as i made my way to the
transition tent. put on more sunblock, it stung as it contacted
my abrasions. i put on my cleats and 2xu. i was so gonna whoop
their little arses on round two. hit the ground running on bike.
with a yell of "singapore" to the spectators, i was off.
its foggy, but i could swear at this point i started slow.
i made sure my legs were spinning, i didnt hit anything hard.
i looked at the vast expanse of ocean as i cycled along the beach.
i knew i was going to be an ironman. i also wondered what the
rest of the day was going to bring.
things werent bad, but i did realize my seatpost was maladjusted.
i didnt feel that the strong wind was going to be a factor when
my legs were strong. i just concentrated on drinking up and
getting into aero. afterall, you might as well look cool for
photos when you're fresh right.
2 stops, seatpost too low, too high then too low again. i
settled for a little lower than normal, at least i could still
cycle like that. yeah, it was less efficient but i was still
moving. ate my bread and bananas and drank up. when you're
high and hitting 30km/h you still think you're conserving.
so i guess overconfidence got to me, i decided to hit 40.
hahahahaha big big mistake. boom for the 1st round, flat
after that, all the conservation went to waste. that was
when the mental game started.
the cramps started in my 2nd lap. i was just on the bike for
2 hours, i estimated 4 more to go. i saw elijah behind me.
i wanted to catch yueming. screw the cramps, i was going to
push it for all i got. i kept all my friends in my mind as
i told myself to give more. the kids i visited and inspired
the day before, lionel wong my inspiration for the race,
(and why not? thats one of the few guys who's equal if not
better than me in everything. if not for the looks ;) ok jk
we know that he has a gf and not me. lol. i'd call his name
man. damn i'd call his name) i imagined ah fu laughing and
suaning me in his likable way as my db senior, i remembered
my brothers in db (even if they hate me for who i am), our
little group of singaporeans in paradise motor inn - uncle
chan and family with our ironlady supporter! the guys from
secondary school, church, army, hell! everybody! i promised
myself i'd hug elijah after the race when we finished in
glory.
yeah its this thing in the race that i learned. no matter
what, if you have enough love for who you're doing it for.
you can always give more. it doesnt matter how much pain
you're in, you'll always push on because you love them a
little bit more. i gritted my teeth as i emptied myself
into the race. using toilet breaks as an excuse to stop
and stretch my cramped calves. i would catch marcus only
to lose him again. i saw yueming 20minutes in front of
me and i had a target. i kept my friends in my mind as
i focused out of my body to just complete the cycle. i would
finish an ironman today. i was not stopping today. i would
fly my flag high, today.
i smiled for cheeling as she took my picture and cheered
for me. i would give her that little push of energy even
though i didnt know how much i had left or how long i could
run and endure on empty. i blasted off for 10secs for
the kid who shouted that i was hot, i pushed on neck to
neck with the other age groupers as i took back every
lead that i was beaten. i didnt succeed everytime. but
i poured myself out, savouring the pain because it would
be worth it. my contacts fogged on the last round. i saved
myself with some saline. the radars had protected me well,
i didnt have to use my spare pair. i headed out toward the
ocean again. 1 more round i told myself. i'll see the
city one more time and i'm going to finish my iron run.
time flew by. my feet grew numb to the vibrations of the
road. i wished i had more salt, i coasted along on bike
from the last 10km. my body may have been in pain but it
was working fine. a few seconds of stillness and my cramps
would go away. i would rest and then squeeze whatever
i've recovered into a few more meters on bike. heh, i few
more meters i told myself. that few meters found me in
a headwind and crosswind, i found my speedo plummeting to
19km/h. i was just 5km or 10minutes away. why was it
taking forever?
1km to the bike to run transition and i crashed. tore my
250 dollar 2xu full suit and damaged my bike, trying to
drink freehand to save my aching back. tossed by the wind
into the red dirt gravel. slammed my palm into the ground.
i was a cramping, aching, painful mess. but it got my
senses back up and i was filled with a new wave of energy.
i was going down, but i wasnt going out. not today.
i cut short my period of self pity, reminding myself of
the time that i was knocked down in geylang yet completing
another 6 hours of arduous riding. i rode, confidently,
powerfully to the finish line. hiding my fatigue and dismay.
9 hours had passed. it was 3pm in the afternoon as i headed
out on my run. the sweet whispers of my friends names and
the memories that i cherished lifting me like invisible wings
at the start of my run. i was going to be an ironman. today.
the first finishers were trickling in. it was both
demoralizing and inspiring, knowing i have 3 laps to go
but knowing that i'll be in great company when i finish.
i started on my walk-shuffle-run. it was at least 4 hours
before the end of the day.
i made it past the goose restaurant before my legs started
seizing bad. i hobbled in pain while trying to stretch.
hoping i'd make it quickly to an aid/ food station. this
time, my body wouldnt listen, there was nothing i could do
to stop the cramp in my legs. i was at if not past my limit.
i couldnt even straighten my leg as i tried to pee in the
portaloo. it brought tears to my eyes. have you wondered why
ironman cry during the race or after they have finished the
race? is it the pain or is it because they are emptying
themselves for another despite the pain. add a silent prayer
and a call to jesus. i would hobble through the marathon.
it was demoralizing, fat women, granddads, grandmoms and
balding men with bellies passing me, and with scrunchies!!
they had already finished 1 round at least! and here i was,
young strapping lad with a bare wrist. all were friendly.
encouraging everyone as they passed to push past the pain,
enduring it, despite it, using and overcoming it. i waited
in fear for elijah to whiz pass me, i cannot match the
strength of his run and i knew that once he did, i'd be left
far far behind. i was tired, and with his capabilities
there was no way i could put up a fight. i was waiting
to be totally demolished.
they say a song sticks in your head to just move you along.
thanks to cheeling it was 1 step at a time by jordin sparks,
kindda forgot the other one. maybe jansen would remember
because we both shared the same songs.
i pushed on, 1 step at a time.
saw elijah 1 hour into my run. he gave me the knowing smirk.
i called out to encourage him all the way. i was waiting to
get whooped. i saw uncle chan and many other singaporeans
too, afterall, we are the largest foreign contingent.
did i ever mention about the incident with the powergels?
haha, after 2008's marathon i swore i would never down 4
packs at a shot again. looks like i didnt learn and did the
same thing this time. at least i had water. but i felt so
much better with the gnawing hunger sated. the worst part
was the bloated feeling and an increase in pain. it didnt
stop the cramps like i hoped, but the chocolate drying my
mouth left me a craving for water that caused me to push on
as i tried to find water to satiate. idiots never learn. lol
the sky started to darken and the wind grew chilly. 1 white
and 1 orange scrunchie later i was looking forward to the
special needs station where i left my mark of glory, the school
flag which i was going to fly past the finish line. i was
leading our little group with jansen a little bit behind.
my body wasnt even complaining about the pain anymore. it
just shut up i guess.
i climbed up the mountain with the santa claus and yelled
that i've been a good boy this year. i wonder if he's giving
me candy or coal in my stocking but he sure did relish
cheering the hell out for me. i increased my pace as i headed
into the forest. daddy's coming home.
walk-shuffle-walk shuffle and i kept overtaking as well as
being overtaken. and then the jetty, long and bright came
in sight. 6km more. a surge of strength and euphoria flooded
my being. it was way before 9pm. i would finish an ironman
even if i walked all the way. i told myself from the start
of the run that i wasnt stopping, i didnt see any reason to
slow down now. i picked up the pace, looking for a toilet
so i could have a photo finish.
the last bend saw me relieving myself before preparing the
flag that i tucked so securely at my side. i was there,
i was finishing it, i was going to be an ironman. i was
going to run in, i wasnt going to stop. it was like dying
where the emotions and memories flashed across your eyes.
the memories of training, the disappointments and setbacks
but most strongly the realization that i was going to make it.
an IRONMAN and my very first triathlon, it was an
accomplishment and the word impossible seemed to lengthen in
IM POSSIBLE. yes indeed, with 2 and a half months of training
ironman was indeed possible. i unfurled my flag before running
down the chute to cheers, camera flashes and cries.
YOU ARE AN ..... IRONMAN!!!
collapsing into the arms of the matronly catches. i caught the
upswell of emotion, it was all worth it. i would have cried
if i had the energy, it was bloody hell worth it.
then came in....
jansen
yueming
zhong zhen
marcus
uncle chan
i got them soup hot soup to go along with the food.
i guess i should do it because i had the most rest as
compared to the rest of them. it was a pleasure to serve.
afterall, how else could i thank them for suffering my
presence.
but where was elijah? i grew worried. i really wanted
him to finish because we promised to go back as ironmen
together. it was a long wait.
elijah
finally the champion made it back! gave him a big hug
which was all i could offer to the brave soul who endured
the cold, the hours in the dark and the chway bike to
finish just in the nick of time. the last finisher in the
singapore contingent overcoming odds that i cannot imagine.
i guess i would never know the depths of his talent to endure
what he did. i'm not sure i would be able to on a bike
like his. together with uncle chan, we savoured the high
of making it first time ironmen. just like what the
announcer predicted.
a massage and the freezing cold later, the warm bed left
me in a deep and dreamless sleep where the memories i had
of that day were indelibly etched into my mind.
my friends, my brothers..
WE
ARE
IRONMEN
posted by green unseen @ 7:58 PM
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