from green to black: November 2008

Friday, November 28, 2008

arrgh matey

scottish? no? pirates! hell!
the accent is funny anyway

oh oh but watch the remix
its better. hell its damn irritating but it
certainly grows on you

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

booster replacement

did some training today after yet another easy paper
and savoured my endorphin high. i'm going back, i'm
not dreaming, i'm going back! time to just enjoy
things and not put too much effort that will not be
appreciated. a tinge of sadness though for the people
who i will not be able to row with again because
they wont come back. but things will be even better.
sitting beside lap cheong, rowing behind ben. i cant
wait for the exams to end!

Monday, November 24, 2008

booster removal

i cant describe how happy i am that exams are finally here
as you know its my favourite period. i get kicks watching
people worry for nothing, like it helps them do any better.
i always "not worry" because i know most people worry
enough for two, so since i'm too lazy to worry for myself
i guess they can do my worrying for me.

something terrible happened over the weekend. they lost
badly, embarrassingly and left me in the state of total,
shocked silence. they were out for revenge, but they only
had their tails whipped. when i drove there, they had
already left for a few hours. lol, 3.50 parking fees for
nothing.

so i had my first easy paper today. something i'm amazed
i finished for the amount of effort i spent on it. i was
blowing so much smoke i wonder if the examiner can wade
through it all. haha. but at least i know its a pass for
this module.

around this time last week i was rather upset. after all
while others had reading week rather free i guess. for me,
i still had lectures for my extra module and i still had
tuition to provide. and the worst part was i felt that i
had no support from home whatsoever, that had me feeling
very unmotivated. and i hate feeling unmotivated recently.
i mean i've felt unmotivated for more than a year but
recently to hear that friends whom i accept unconditionally
are friends with me because of cap or intelligence? what
the hell!? i dont know, but seriously meritocracy may be
the way we are employed in this world, but i really dont
think meritocracy is the way to choose friends. oh well...

think i should have stuck to what i'm good at. rubbish.
then that person isnt me. judge, but i dont care, take
it or leave it, its my way of the highway. and i make no
apologies for that

Sunday, November 16, 2008

pierced

i passed him his birthday presents on friday night
i felt much better to know that despite not seeing
each other for more than a year, we're still the
friends we know each other to be. here's to number
22, lionel! although i really have no idea how we'll
find the time to meet coz i know both of us are busy
and tired as hell.

i feel stronger recently, not physically but in a
frame of mind sort of way. i figured that i understand
on a deeper level how it feels to need to work for
something. i figured that motivation is a big blessing
not just whatever natural endowments anyone has. i
think i'll feel very satisfied when the term ends.
when it ends. i hate this feeling of the lack of time.
but at the end of this term i'll friggin end it all,
and i'll just figure how to do it. i'd better.

Monday, November 10, 2008

production

i'm not sure if any1 who reads this post will remember
but drop me a msg or comment if you do after listening
to the first 2 lines ;) yes, that memory haunts still.

wish

sometimes people want to solve all their problems.
me, i only want to solve 1. if i had one wish, and
i could have anything i wanted with that wish, and
it would surely be granted, at this point in time
i'd wish only for one thing. and that is a peaceful
and good nights' rest for the rest of my life.

how dumb you think. but if i had that, i'd have
everything i need to change the world.

essay

i learnt something today, always consult the lecturer
instead of the tutor when you need to clarify anything.
because while the tutor may have an idea what seems to
be lacking, the lecturer is probably more lucid in his
explanations.

todays lesson was painful, not because of the so-so
review i got from the lecturer but because of this
stupid round-about way people do things. i would go
on a rant how people like to be fair, balanced, etc...
but i wish they would just call a spade a spade sometimes
i'm not one of the emotional guys you meet now a days
and if theres bad news, i like to take it front and hard.

dont tell me my essay is a good essay and give me a B.
whats so good about that? dont rub it in by telling me
that you have done the legwork, and i would have given
you an A+ on content and relevance BUT if not for your
style. just tell me, you are not supposed to write an
essay in this manner, do it this way (elaborate) so that
you can achieve this effect. isnt this more simple?
immediately i know where to focus on.

ok enough with that, here are some reminders for myself.

1) write an essay with an argument. do not attempt to
write an expository, even if there is no appearance of
a contention in the question. e.g. find something to
argue about even if the question asks you please list
down the 4 factors that make up issue X. there is an
argument there.

2) write your conclusion as your thesis statement. since
you habitually conclude with your strongest points, make
it your thesis statement. not only are you clear, your
essay is immediately clarified the moment you switch your
intro and conclusion (there is hope for you yet)

3) some key words essential in providing a solid thesis
statement is, " in this essay, i will argue that..." if
you can fill that sentence in you have an argument.

ok, hopefully i can change my style of writing. its quite
dumb to accept a bad grade when i have everything needed
for a better one save that i did not do as the marker wanted.
on the bright side, i'm thankful i can improve as a writer.

irony

is the feeling you experience when you did all you
could only be get what you wanted to prevent. yes,
life is ironic. i spent all my time on the people
whom i felt should matter, like my family only to
find that i'm paid back in (un)kind. i tried so hard
to give them the life they wanted, only to be treated
even worse then before. so why is that so? am i
destined to live a life of bad karma or is there a
principle of life that i am unaware of or ignoring?

the answer is simple. idealism. i am an idealist and
i say that without shame nor apology. i will go that
extra distance, i will bite twice as hard and stomach
the blow if i think that somehow, someway, any course
of action will give me a long run improvement. i will
pay any price to stand for a world which can be a better
place.

now that paragraph is scary isnt it? especially if i
have a different view from you. idealism inspires fear
from the ignorant. they would rather avoid then question,
hide, rather than seek, oppose instead of embracing change.
funny thing is, they like to go for soundbites, hence
obama's popularity, but they are unwilling to act to be
the change he suggests. so you can imagine that if you
are a doer more than a critic, you are bound to be
misunderstood.

in that way life is understandable. people are resistant
to change. people are inconsistent much as they claim
otherwise because they cannot see the links between their
words and actions. an example would be the people who
claim to want government to take more responsibility and
deliver more programs (big government) yet want lower
taxes. --> you need more money for more programs.

in the same way, my parents tell me they want my happiness
but irritate the bejeezus out of me doesnt really follow
as consistent. hence the topic of this post, irony.
yes, things at home are ironic, if you can compute the
permutations of cases of inconsistency you might probably
have an idea of what i'm going through. and i am exercising
catharsis through the elaboration of this post.

i am amused when i observe irony, of course after more
and more incidents of irony in my life i get more and
more cynical. of course i try to avoid that as well. so
i shall leave this post with the note that irony is always
easier to bear with a little spirit, the type that is at
least 80% proof that is (ok, kidding). isnt it ironic
that i really wanted to stop binge drinking. (seriously kidding)

Sunday, November 02, 2008

exchange

due to lack of sleep and a very heavy head, i guess
i'll procrastinate for a while before starting
rushing an essay which i havent typed yet that will
be due in hmm 3 hours.

i like this picture. it reminds me of somethings that
were once there, like my red cap which i lost to the
sea off pasir ris while windsurfing among other things.

or even this one. knowing how much i love to eat....
yeah i damn right finished the burger. ok so i was
feeling rich and had a little help with the fries, but
only because i felt it was better to enjoy myself instead
of just completing the challenge and feeling miserable
later. for memories sake. i took less than 2 hours and
i paid 32 bucks for it. but for the fun i had, priceless

heres the group on zhiwei's birthday '08.

ahahahahah. who's ever gonna feed me like i feed myself?

oh, and happy halloween.

;)'bas

White elephant nation

Was rather cheesed about n.u.s sop(s) today, it’s not
a one off incident so I guess this dislike has been
going on for some time.

Well firstly, like we all know, I’m a friggin paying
student of the school! I shouldn’t have to be treated
like a trespasser in my own school.

Secondly, school facilities are meant to be used by
students! Especially the src, sports recreation center.

Does it make sense for a recreation center to be closed
on a day where people enjoy their recreation, i.e. the
weekend? Oh by the way if it were totally closed I would
understand, but heck, they were damn well open to the
public. Look, I know that these people pay the lifeguard
directly (explain this crucial point later) but I should
also be entitled to the same or even greater rights than
the public because my school fees contribute to the existence
of the recreation center which was meant for students in
the first place. The lifeguard is the one who keeps the
keys for the gym, when the sports office personnel are not around.

So the junior life guard was fine and nicely opened
the gym for me. I was responsible and left things in
a better position than before I came. But when I got
him to lock up the gym for me, this older lifeguard
made such a big fuss. Goodness! Is it sop(standard
operating procedure)? Is it the fear of being berated
by some office staff? Then is it because we have too
many rules that people hide behind protocol like that!!!!
It’s the weekend and no sports teams are using the gym,
there are people around, I’m no stranger and have
proven myself responsible, so what’s the beef?

So lets look at things from his point of view.
Things may get stolen. Things may be left in a mess.
The door may be left unlocked. At the end of it all,
he may be held responsible by the sports office if
anything goes wrong. They are valid concerns.

Which leads me to this point, who is the sports office
supposed to serve? Students like me. If we have all
these rules such that it becomes so difficult to use
school facilities we might as well say its all just
for show. Why should the responsible people be penalized
along with the irresponsible? Why put the blame on the
lifeguard and make his life difficult if he wants to
grant access to students?

There will always be theft and irresponsible people
who leave things in a mess. There will be the ugly
ones who will steal weights and what not. But the way
we live life should not be dictated by the actions
of these miscreants. We especially when sufficient
filtering can be done by limiting use to students and
saving the details of their matric card for tracing
purposes. There will be too many among us who are not
fairly served by the school if this happens. When we
pay such high school fees, and may not even use the
facilities at times, we should not be made to suffer
such indignities when there is probably a large amount
of buffer funds in the account. Items can be replaced,
thieves can be caught but injustice should not be
suffered unnecessarily.

I shudder to think if that is not the case, and that
we truly are in need of so much funds. Have you noticed
how some of the new constructions in school are nothing
but white elephants, serving the needs of the few without
giving any benefit to the many, other than perhaps
bragging rights? The newly constructed traffic lights
near lt 11 has done little to ease congestion. The
fences that n.u.s have built up has done little to
substantively improve security. Cases of molest still
occur, the culprits were caught but the idea of
prevention is no more than a whimsical psychological
assurance. Yet all these were from the school budget,
it doesn’t benefit the most of the students (ask them and
be prepared to hear them gripe to you) they have no say on
the projects that go on (the school administration makes
gestures but without real intent) school fees are raised,
and then the school asks how come we do not donate back
to the school generously? How come there isn’t a stronger
sense of belonging or rootedness to the school?
Cant they tell?

But school is a microcosm of the state. We have many
great public projects that really are more bane than
boon to the average citizen. Or they have very
restricted use, hence we should aptly call ourselves
a white elephant nation. For example, nicely manicured
school fields, I’m sure they were meant for soccer but
due to security concerns or wear and tear, the fields
are hardly used. I’m indignant at this predicament
because public funding is the source of all these
facilities yet it cannot be clearer that the public
has no access to it. I’m pretty sure there are more
examples you can think of where the government projects
have proven so restrictive to citizens that they are
hardly ever used by them.

My understanding is that when public funds are
used for public projects, the public should be
able to enjoy the results of their contributions,
what more when we can trace a direct stake in
the project! (like how my school fees contribute
to the upkeep of the sports complex). But we live
in a white elephant nation, and we don’t need to
look far for examples. Just look at the conditions
the future leaders are subjected to. Here in n.u.s

from green to black