from green to black

sad training

did a single session to tone down for the weekend burst.
i was dissappointed by my own performance today.

as usual i havent been hitting the team weights yet.
not for lack of training but it just seems that i cant
get there with proper form.

i've been doubling my dose of mass gainer (its still
half the recommended dosage) and creatine but i'm not
there yet.

i hit a 30kg bench press and 17.5 kg shoulder press
though.

i need help for my bend over rows and anything that
affects my back though. i'll admit i'm afraid.

i'm afraid of injury.
gym is a dangerous activity because anytime you
overload on a weight you lose control which is an
opportune time for injuries.
twisted joints, broken bones maybe death.

i'm afraid of being too big.
the idea of hitting more than 70kg is not
something i'd like to accept. bulk reduces
efficiency. i favour compact muscle development.

i'm afraid of being stunted.
yeah i'm not getting any taller.
and yes i know this fear is irrational.
like most other fears.
this probably plays a subconscious role.

yes this is a joke.
i'm a gym rat who hates the gym.
i apologise.
but i will support the team as far as i know
i wont get injured during training. i refuse
to sustain injury for the team.

posted by green unseen @ 6:42 AM