from green to black

from our dear sidney

Hey fellow batchmates,

Sidney,the quiet and emo-baby of the batch, wishes to express
some of his thoughts that are with him since June 29.

Since that fateful event on June 29,he kept asking
himself a few questions over and over again,although
he knows that there can never be answers provided.

Q1) Is N.T.U stronger than us individually? Strength?
Stroke? Stamina? Endurance? Experience? Power?
Q2) Would things be better if decisions were made differently that day?
Q3) What went wrong within ourselves?
Q4) What can we do to salvange our pathetic situation?

He thought about everything for 4 days and 4 nights.
Everytime he looks at the YouTube clips of the PM Cup
2008,his heart aches,the wound became deeper.
Now that it is almost 2 weeks since it happened,he is
moving on quite well with some frequent flashbacks of
the incident in his mind at certain points in the day.
After a while he realised that the above questions do
not matter as much as he thought they initially would.
What could he done at that time to change things?
Nothing.Then he realise he can only do one thing
- focus on the present and improve for the future.

The few of his batchmates begun planning for trainings,
to kickstart the body a week after the race,to maintain
the fitness level,and for some,especially himself,to
become stronger through this period of time.He understands
that different people have different commitments,
different priorities,different problems and maybe different
views on many things.One thing he is doubtful about
is the common objective that his batch has. The 18
juniors of last season 07/08,what have you been doing since
the race ended?

Part time job? Orientation camps? Hall commitments?
Plain slacking? Or MIA aka Missing In Action?

Whatever the reason(s) are,he believes in one
true fact and situation : N.T.U is not resting.
They are having their Master Series event
this weekend.He sees for himself
how N.T.U guys came down for training @ S.D.B.A
yesterday(Thursday 10 July),what they did.Runs before
water training?2 hour rowing sessions? Yes they
won big time in S.D.B.F 2008 but are they complacent?
NO! Are they taking a rest? NO! Are they training lesser? NO!

The many of you out there who shed a tear or two
when N.U.S lost to N.T.U in P.M. Cup,do you still
remember the pain?Did you see your fellow batchmates
break down in tears and sorrows?Did you see how
grown up adults broke down so easily?Did you see
how NTU raised up the PM Cup in glory? If yes,where
are your commitments? Do you think that by plain
participating in official team trainings when the
new academic year starts,you can be on par with N.T.U?
Do you really think so?

He is not asking everyone of you to abandon your
PT job,special sem,orientation camp or whatsoever
thing important in your life for this team.The
team has taken much of your time for the past 2-3 months
of the sem break.He just want you to ask
yourself deep inside : what is it going to take from YOU
to do in order to rise up from the previous defeat
and become stronger? He cannot answer for you.
Only YOU can answer for yourself.

No doubt some of the guys are doing their own
trainings.Good.However,he feels that individual
improvements are nothing compared to improvements
as a batch. The fate of the team lies in his batch
of 18 rowers.If this batch of rowers do not get
their act together,share a common objective and goal,
history will repeat itself.

Come his most important point of all,he is greatly
disturbed by the fact that his batch mates ignored
most of the messages sent,with regards to team issues or
training.Where is the basic courtesy to send a reply
message as a form of acknowledgement?Busy?Busy throughout
the day?He salutes you.

Even if he or anyone
forgets to send sms asking people to participate in
unofficial trainings during this period of time,he
wonders if each individual would take the initiative
to message, to reach out to the usual core group who
always train? Do you feel the frustation and burden
of these core group of individuals who have to day
in,day out, mass sms the entire batch,and possibly
the entire team(as someone put it across to him),and
receive nothing at the end of the day.Granted,a few
would reply that they are busy.The rest? Where is the
initiative to reach out and train? Where is the
determination and resolve to come back stronger that
he thought he saw in his batch mates
since June 29? Imagine the feeling when people do
not reply,or do not commit themselves in the first
place to training,how would these organisers of training feel?

Right at this moment,12.40am on Friday morning,
he is feeling jaded,almost burnt out from everything.
Seniors questioned him on why some of the people of his batch
were not informed of trainings.In the midst of going
through everything,planning for his module preference
exercises,personal problems and other commitments,don't
you people think it is unfair to him?And to his fellow
small group of team mates who are trying their best
to reach out to the rest? With so many things on his mind
and yet feeling the need to involve his batch of rowers
to go for training,encouraging them to go for training,
don't you think the burden is too heavy?Ask yourself.

Don't push his limits further he pleads.Everyone has
his life.Stop making his life look as if day in day
out it has to go to do with the team.You feel sian
of going for training at this point in time(when you
should be clubbing,having fun,mending your social life
and watsoever),what about him?Have you spared a thought
for him and his fellow batchmates training with him?
Don't they deserve a break from minor things that each
of us should have: the self motivation,discipline and
initiative to start training? Maybe he is all wrong
about his team mates.Maybe they are training,just that
he does not see it.Prove him wrong then come Sava Sprints.

Before he ends off this lengthy email,he wishes to
express his sincere apologies if any of his words
and intentions are misinterpreted as offensive.
This is how he is feeling now and he feels that
letting them all out would do him some good.He wishes
everyone the best of health(as some of his batchmates
fell sick) and everyone else the best in whatever they
do.He wishes to see everyone(18 of them)when the academic
year starts,sparking off the first official training.Till
then,it would be awhile before he types such messages
again.(hope not)

Regards,
Sidney

poor boy. do you think those batchmates really care?
maybe all we can do is our part. do you think
the seniors bother when all the do is hang around
their own batch, you're the easiest person to blame
if people dont get contacted. i've always held the
position that the seniors dont really care about us
and i'm gonna watch a little while longer to see
if they prove me wrong.

yes, i'm still sore over the agm. i'm still sore
that there is no direction and no plans. maybe,
the damage is irreversible... who knows?

posted by green unseen @ 10:45 AM