from green to black

its not happy at all

i will seriously kill anyone who gives me birthday
wishes in the next 2 weeks. i tried eating brownies
today. it didnt work, and i'm still demoralized.
work was canceled, so i went home to sleep.
for once, in a long time, when the sun was still up!
i'm still on my down cycle of recovery. i've not
been exercising hard. i've got a race in less than
10 days, a test in less than 2 and i still have 2
papers to go. i'm darn sure there's lots to be happy
about.

i'm angry and i'm pissed off. i accept being poled
or stripped since i will have the chance to fight
and seriously punch someone because of the need of
self defense. but if i get any mockingly sweet
happy birthday, i'm damn sure that person will be
really confused if i start cursing and swearing at
him. but i dont care! i dont want to socialize and
i dont want to celebrate.

but what i really want? someone to just sit down
and shut up and we can have the best silent conversation
at the end of 6 hours. i'd feel way better then even
if piling work in school makes me miserable. happiness?
nah not really. someone to share it and understand?
(and shut up too) YES PLEASE!

the author wishes to say that this is just an early
warning to those with better intentions. they are
more appreciated if kept to oneself. the author is
also NOT an angry person, rather he is annoyed when
"happy" people can just go through the motions without
ensuring that the party being celebrated is happy.
the author will be happy however if he gets shiny
metals 4 days after his birthday, and will forgive
any celebrations then but not before.

you have been warned. and be grateful, that unlike
my dad who wonders why i get more unhappy when he
obviously tries to cheer me up and gets rebuffed
instead, you guys get a warning and explanation
even before you try something risky.

posted by green unseen @ 11:02 AM