from green to black

Disgruntled

well i received an email from international yesterday saying that
they do not need relief teachers. their loss. then it was the
party at dees which i just came back from. felt so good cooking,
and i really appreciated the part when hao cooked for me when i
was so busy cooking for the rest. what else can a man ask for,
when he has a friend who just watches his back? i'm a lucky guy.
sorry squid, i thought it was a great party. hopefully the concert
made up for it or its your loss. barbecues get less fun as you
get older coz it feels like you've got a higher expectation to
meet. as you approach independence u must know how to change
the state of food that it doesnt cause trouble when it enters
the stomach right? and people arent gods so we shouldnt produce
burnt offereings too. but i guess i did fine. though i really
need to hang around in the kitchen more often. if it wasnt a
barbecue but a stint to cook chinese soup stocks and the kitchen
preparation i think i'd have been a goner. and it doesnt help
that my kitchen knifes are blunt and my mom doesnt sharpen it.
(and it sucks coz each time i sharpen it seems to be made more
blunt so that makes me a failure as a domestic handyman. argh!

so the part was cool coz i think some of will's friends looked
pretty for their age. you tend to lower your standards when you
realise women look their best from 19-35. so i guess they look
ok for 16. charmaine, stephanie and michelle were much more fun.
and i guess they make better conversationalists since we would
be the ones talking more instead if we struck a conversation with
the younger ones. i was especially enlightened by michelle,
whom i am very grateful to for the advice on relief teaching.
the reality check she gave me just resigns me to the fact that
as much as we pay lip service to the fact that we need change,
nothing is really being done. that explains why i will continue
to be unsuccessful unless i stick to the structure and be a
good cog in the gears instead of being creative and take risks.

well, the sentiment is that the ministry of education has the
relief teaching scheme to allow people like me a chance to
feel how it is like to be a teacher before deciding on that
career path. however, on the ground it is a totally different
story. instead of the wide and available options if one were
to send out a cover letter, resume and ones results to express
interest and bid for the job. they would prefer that one would
go back to their alma mater. furthermore, the way to get the
post instead of being professional like i have been and expressed
my interest and qualifications in writing, the surer way to
get the job is by pure nepotism. hence, it is no wonder that
for all my qualifications, achievements, initiatives and
professionalism the posts are always not available unless i
have a history with that school. this is sad because it reeks
of 'inbreeding' i will never have the chance to sample life
in a different environment as a teacher before i take the
plunge. i will not be able to share different teaching practices
and hone the survival instinct being in a new environment. also
such nepotistic practices means that complacency sets in because
loyal service is rewarded, and performance is secondary to
capability, which would explain falling standards. this worries
me because, i feel the need to place myself in different and
especially tough and unforgiving circumstances because i want
to cultivate the skill of adaptibly and creativity that has
to be experienced by oneself. it is precisely why my thoughts
are very different from the average singaporean. i want to believe
we can be more than a brand name for quality. i believe that
when we challenge our surroundings and are placed in trying
circumstances our inherent ingenuity will express itself. the
pride of the human race is that we are readily adaptable to
adverse circumstances, we become the masters of our destiny and
neccesity truly becomes the mother of invention. we are at the
stage that we keep on going for stability, the conventional
mindset. it is not wrong, however if we were to be on the path
to creativity, capital and interlectual ownership we must be
willing to embrace change which is inherently unstable. and
hence hone our adaptability. we have to take risks another
factor that is unstable. yes, if we were to be leaders in the
field we have to play by the survival of the smartest and fittest
and only when we've established ourselves than we can better look
after those left behind as they helped us to succeed and be
what we are and be more inclusive.

i speak out today as a proponent of change and action. i
speak out today because i feel that we are lagging even though
times look good because we have not moved to the stage of
providing for ourselves but relying on foreign mncs to
guarantee our job market and prospects. the place to start
and to urge creativity starts in our educational instituation.
hence teachers need to lead the way with flexabilty, and
capability instead of nepotism and cronyism. we have to strive
for talent and not reward our relations. i would be in the
vanguard to effect this change, if only someone shares my
ideals and gives me the opportunity. then i can truely say
we will progress to a level of development not seen before
in singapore.

posted by green unseen @ 8:40 AM