from green to black

holding my attention

its not new to me that things dont hold my attention
for long. i get bored easily and my interest pretty
much fizzles out once i feel something has lost its
meaning and purpose in my life. you know, i'm always
trying out new stuff: new areas of knowledge and skill,
different kinds of sport, practicing and appreciating
art, and food both eating and cooking. well this time,
tough, seems like i cant find anything to fill that
void. and that, to me, is very bad news.

actually, i've been rather despondent lately. as it
is, im ever dissatisfied by my inability to resolve
philosophical questions in a manner that removes the
tension within the matter. of course, its not quite
possible sometimes and its pretty easy to put it at
the back of one's mind and ignore if just going on
with life is all i want but i cant because of the
consciousness i have of the philosophical implications
of my actions. i want to hold a stand without contradicting
myself or seeming to be a big hypocrite you know.

so the question is, having come so far, what would
i like to do next?

posted by green unseen @ 10:55 AM