from green to black

weddings and responsibility

the parents are on holiday so its me home alone for some time.
i guess its not too bad considering i get the car. its
convenient really. but i kindda hate to drive. the traffic
stresses me out and i cant sleep while i'm commuting. but i
guess, since its a little faster and i dont have to search for
a seat, i guess its a fair trade off. i'd still prefer
teleporting but they havent delivered my machine yet.

my dad decided i'm old enough to proxy for him and he requested
that i attend a wedding on his behalf. cunning bastard. trying
to give me 2 hints at the same time, but i guess i'll just
ignore it. hint number 1 is of course, when will it be your
turn. considering, i'm still available and havent used my
v-card yet, he's probably thinking i'm batting for the boys.
hint number 2 is more subtle, but it irritates me nontheless.
since i was seated in the business table, i was force to make
business small talk. so would you consider joining the business
when you graduate. i dont think so. i am not going to be like
those spineless people who've never hit out unless they have
a parental army behind. i'll take the world by the horns and
conquer. of course its death if i dont, but i can deal with that.

sure as hell reminds me of some people whom i can think of who
will inherit daddy's business. cant say they arent privileged
but i know that its not a path a would walk if offered.

the wedding was an eye opener anyhow. i learnt when and how to
give the hongbao. some chinese traditions with the weddings,
like the tea ceremony or the reasons why the meal starts late.
i guess theres always a first time for everything. it sure scared
the hell out of me. which is really perfect for my plan. i
realized how much it means to the parents if they cannot save
face there. its really the perfect place to cause a scene, or
anticipate one. i figured that i will never go for any of my
family members weddings. that, will be the biggest slap to my
parents that i would not have to physically inflict. not that
i care about what my brothers think anyway because i'm pretty
sure the feeling is mutual. of course, it would help if their
other halves dont know i exist. time will tell...

quite proud of myself for my house keeping efforts though. as
long as my youngest brother was back from camp, i ensured he
had home cooked food. which of course was edible. lasagna on
sat and a baked chicken on sun. shows the parents that even if
they are away we dont have to eat out all the time. and the
dishes and stove top are washed and cleaned. my clothes are
washed and ironed, despite my trainings, tests and projects.
cant say its easy for me to cope, considering my body totally
collapsed on itself already and i skipped some trainings and
i havent done my project yet. but i guess this is how life
will be like if i'm going to live independently. its not as if
girls can or feel that they should do housework anyway. so i
guess i better get used to it.

oh well i guess i should just enjoy this peaceful week alone
then. wish i'd find the discipline to start doing stuff too.

posted by green unseen @ 9:24 AM