loss of awareness
strange things always happen to me on wednesdays.i do stupid things, such as take wrong buses or
accidentally press things i shouldnt. maybe its
due to work (tuition) or a lack of food or both.
a few weeks ago after feeling faint and nauseous,
i pressed the red train button, for no reason! i
dont even know why. i was thinking, hmmm red just
punch/ press it. only when the train stalled and
the announcement came over the intercom did i
realize i messed up. luckily nothing happened.
but i felt really bad and embarrassed the rest of
the trip. it felt like i had totally no self control
and that really worried me.
today, i mistook the 175 for the 174. how irritating.
it was drizzling and boy was i hungry and tired
after work. so i got on the bus which brought me
farther away from home. darn. and it felt terrible.
i had a numbing wait. and while i was standing on the
bus, i just felt pang after pang of sharp hunger.
i wanted to fall over but i couldnt, too manly, cant
lose face, cant let hunger overtake me. my arm was
shivering and i couldnt feel my legs as a walked up
the hill to my house.
haiz. guess i really need to learn how to take better
care of myself.

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